New Recruits Part 6: Spooky Club Updates

It's February the 1st today so congratulations to all of you. I'm not sure why but I think you've probably done something good recently. 

It's now three months since we launched Spooky Club online. Alongside this we offered people the chance to apply for membership. Initially we wanted to send out some patches and other goodies to everyone, but those plans were postponed as we thought it'd be some kind of bad omen to do this around Christmas. Who knows, Santa Claus may have stomped our heads with his massive boots for treading on his turf. Probably not, but I'm going to use this as an excuse for being too busy to put it all together in time.

However, we're still planning to send out membership packs this year, probably closer to October, when we start putting together our next Halloween Special. So all those that sent us an email, we haven't forgotten you. And for all those that haven't, you can still do so by clicking HERE.

To date, we've had over 100 people apply and amongst that number we've been told about a lot of extremely disturbing 'talents' that people have.

There's been quite a few mentions of 'shit' and 'butts' and what people can do with them. I forwarded those emails straight to Disgusting Club HQ, straight after I was sick.

Not sure if I should report a guy who said that they kill children with chainsaws. If this has actually happened near you, get in touch and we'll work together to put them behind bars.

One person's ability is that they lost their horse and another said they were skilled in having ginger hair. I'm not really sure how spooky those things are, but I'll give them the benefit of the doubt.

Five people actually had the exact same ability of being able to bend their fingers back a ridiculous amount.

It turns out a lot of people live in haunted houses or make regular pilgrimages to haunted locations and graveyards. Also, everyone loves Vincent Price. RIP.

I'll finish on quoting one submission that we had. Can't really write anything else after this.

"One time I squirted blood out of my dick instead of cum. Afterwards my piss stank of rotten trout."

That guy has got a lifetime ban.